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DO YOU EVER 'BET' OR 'WAGER' ON COLLEGE AND PROFESSIONAL SPORTS?
 NO - I NEVER PACE BETS
 OCCASIONALLY I GET INTO THE OFFICE POOL
 YES - I OCCASIONALLY PLACE A BET
 YES - I PLACE BETS ALL THE TIME!
 
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-The Blonde and Her New Lexus LS400

A blonde bought a new Lexus LS400, and returned the next day, complaining that she couldn't figure out how the radio worked.

The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.

"Watch this!" he said..."Nelson!"

The radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?"

"Willie!" he continued....and "On The Road Again" came from the speakers.

The blonde drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time she'd say, "Beethoven", she'd get beautiful classical music, and if she said,"Beatles!" she'd get one of their awesome songs.

One day, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed her new car, but she swerved in time to avoid them.

"ASSHOLES!" she yelled.......

Then the French National Anthem, sung by the Dixie Chicks, began to play.





The Strange Family




 



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