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- Osama bin Laden Observations
Osama bin Laden Observations
"What we know about Osama bin Laden is this -- he's worth $300 million, he has five wives and 26 kids ...
and he hates Americans for their 'excessive' lifestyle."
-- David Letterman
"The leaders of the Taliban said today that killing bin Laden won't solve the problem. But, you know, it couldn't hurt."
-- Jay Leno
"You read about all these terrorists, most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and these people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration."
-- Jay Leno
"This Osama bin Laden guy, spoiled rich kid worth $300M. I have three words for this guy: Anna Nicole Smith. We send her over there, she'll get his money, he'll be dead in a week."
-- Jay Leno
"It was reported today that Osama Bin Laden has 50 brothers and sisters. Which absolutely shocked me because I had no idea he was Catholic"
-- Conan O'Brien
"Things have really changed here in Hollywood. Used to be people in this town couldn't wait to get an envelope full of white powder."
-- Jay Leno
"I don't mean to harp on this, but it's like the networks are a how-to manual for terrorists. You see them on the news. This reporter is standing outside a water treatment plant, going, 'If they poured the poison here it could wipe out thousands because the guard is off duty from noon until 1 every day!'"
-- Jay Leno
"In Pakistan anti-American protesters set a Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant on fire. The protesters mistakenly thought they were attacking high-ranking U.S. military official, Colonel Sanders."
-- Jimmy Fallon on Saturday Night Live's Weekend
"People want to say there isn't racial profiling at the airport, but let's be honest. If you first name is Mohammed, and your last name isn't Ali, arrive at the airport extra early."
-- Jay Leno
"More and more facts coming out about Osama bin Laden.
You know, he never sleeps in the same place two nights in a row, just like Clinton."
-- Jay Leno
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